Some definitions of IT roles:
A project director is a person who choose the direction(even when advised not to do it) and when the ship crashes, he accuse the crew, save himself and proudly get rewarded for successful rescue operation
Work more! we are losing money!
Person who is always right except when the project director is right. His motto is :
If the project is successful is because of him, if the project fails is because of the team.
Business consultant is a fellow who completely disagree with your solution on a meeting, but later he polish it and present it as his own idea. Always in position to explain and consult even on unknown topics.
My team can do anything. Absolutely anything.
QA or tester
A QA man is someone who can test a rocket, without knowing what is a rocket. The test could be down with a pen and his imagination. If the rocket crash - the guilt will be on the engineers.
Bugs of yesterday are features today.
A programmer is a fellow who will solve a problem, that you don't know in a way that you don't expect , with result of breaking something else.
Give me a beer and 5 minutes and it'll work again.
Super programmer is a mythical creature who will continue to code even if a sexy girl enter into the room. It can spend several hours thinking for something which is not sex. For it 'sex' is weak password or Software EXecutable.
Everything else except programming is just a detail.
HR is a person who search for a black cat (without knowing what car is) in dark room without a cat, and being well paid for this.
We will find the best cat for you
It's an opportunity to blame someone else for your mistakes
The part of the PC which is penalized when the software is not working